Yet Another Attempt to Change

For a long time now I've seen this pattern in my life and have done little to change it. The cycles of my mood and how certain habits influence this cycle. How these habits, despite the momentary joy they bring, only lead toward a doom-n-gloom approach to life.

Well, yet again I'm trying to change things. I'm tired of the status quo. Something has got to give before my inner frustration emerges into something more sinister. The time for bitching about things has passed. So last night I finished off the last remnants of my stash and said my goodbyes. I don't know if this for good or just another break. And I realize now as I type this that me even admitting to myself that I might go back if part of the pattern I'm trying to break.

All I know is that I can't justify this habit anymore. That smokers cough has returned and I've spent far too much time by myself as of late. So here I go again, taking another ride on that proverbial wagon. Lets hope I can stay on this time for at least a few months.