Last night was filled with self induced frustration. I tried to do what should have been a simple quick adjustment to my bike before leaving for Craft Night. I've been told by a few people, mostly my bike-savvy housemates, that my seat is too low. So I tried to fix that but I don't think it's really any better now than it was before. At the time I was in a hurry and didn't want to spend too much time making sure it was the right height.
Anyways, this isn't where my incompetence reared its ugly head. No, that was with the other "small" repair I attempted. Several weeks ago when I attached my fenders I didn't tighten on bolt enough and it was causing my rear reflector to rattle as I ride. All I had to do was tighten up a bolt… simple right? Well not in the world of Reanne, where all simple things evolve into something more difficult. I somehow fucked up my brakes when I tightened that bolt. My rear brake got readjusted so that one side was rubbing against my tire. Of course I didn't realize I did this till after riding up Harrison, a hill that kills me even when my bike is fully functional. Harrison has always been a struggle for me. Until last night, I had never really gone up it without stopping for some reason. I was so determined to ride up it without stopping last night, that when I was having trouble peddling I just assumed it was my own fault for being out of shape.
Only after I had made it past 30th did I realize there was something wrong. I tried different gears and still could barely peddle. Around this time I had an annoying encounter with a biker behind me that told me while he passed that I should just pull over so he could fix my bike because it was "really annoying him." By that time I was so annoyed with myself that it took all I had to not reply with a bitchy retort. I told him that I was fine and thanked him for his offer. It wasn't long after this encounter that I finally did pull over and fiddled with my bike till I found the culprit brake. I couldn't do much with just my hands and by that time I had developed a major cramp in my side. Note to self: eating dinner then rushing off to ride up Harrison= not a good idea, especially not with a non-fully functional bike.
Since I was exhausted, feeling like someone was shoving a giant fish hook into my side, frustrated and getting a little damp thanks to the rain that had started to fall… I gave up. I turned around and proceeded to walk my incompetent ass home. The entire way back I watched normal competent bikers ride past me. Every time I would watch them thinking about how biking looks like it's such an easy thing that I (so far) seem to make difficult without even trying.
I know that part of my failure last night was that I didn't give myself enough time to digest dinner before heading up the hill. And that I was already tired and a little pissy from working yet another day of overtime. My mood was also pissy due to frustration in a different area of my life that I don't want to go into. For those of you that know me well, you'll know what I'm talking about. It's the thing that I'm perpetually frustrated about.
Tonight I plan to attempt (yet again) to fix my bike then get back on that proverbial horse so that I can go to the Bike Craft event. We'll see. No matter what, I want to make (by bike) it to the rally on Saturday. Let's just hope that tonight I don't just make things worse than they already are. [crosses fingers]
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