In fact, I meant to stop smoking last year. I remember saying to myself around the time of my 25th birthday that "25 was the year I would stop." Well shortly after my birthday, in fact almost a year ago from today, my Grandma's health started to decline to the point that we knew the end was near. She died at the end of April.
I kept telling myself that I could keep smoking for various reasons, but once my Grandpa started to go, I fell back into the bad smoking habits I thought I was done with. I hate to admit this, but I was smoking almost every day for several months. After Grandpa died and I had my falling out with my sister, I gave into my weak side and smoked every night. I knew what I was doing was bad and recognized it for the emotion crutch that it was. But I was hurting too bad to stop.
When I first decided to live with Ry & Alletta, I promised them I wouldn't keep smoking when we lived together. I did end up smoking for a bit in the new place, but that was mostly due to the fact we moved in sooner than I expected. March 28th was the last day I smoked pot.
Now, well into my 2nd week of being pot free, my lungs are in that painful healing stage. I remember from previous attempts to quit that after the 1st week my lungs would start hurting a bit as I healed from the damage previously done. This morning when I woke up it felt like I had been inhaling smoke all night. My breath feels short & it almost hurts when I breathe in deeply. The only reason I'm not freaking out about this is the memory of being in this stage before. It sucks right now, but with time I will heal.
Already I've been seeing the benefits of not smoking.
- Food tastes better.
- I'm dreaming again.
- Increased energy.
- Feeling like my old self.
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