Estrangement- Part Two

It has been exactly one month since I've written about my sister and now once again she is all that I can think about. Two weekends ago, both my sister and her boyfriend were arrested for possession of heroin. They both claimed that it was their first time with heroin, but I do not for a second believe them.

One of the many things I have been struggling with about my sister is that I've completely lost the ability to believe anything she says. And since I heard that she had to begin her time in jail in a hospital because she was going through withdrawals, I don't believe that was her first time with heroin. Just as I haven't believed her for almost a year now when she would keep insisting that she was clean.

Their five year old daughter is now currently living with her grandmother, but up until last Thursday she had been staying with my mom. Both the boyfriend, Jason, & his mother lied to my mom about taking her for a day to visit, informing Mom late into the evening that my niece would be staying with them. Jason got out of jail on bail, but is likely to serve a 10 year sentence for the recent drug conviction. At first, his mother didn't want to raise my niece so she sent her to my mom. While my mom really didn't want to have to raise a small child again, she took Zoey in without a second thought. Then Jason, the man who had been with my sister for nearly 10 years, is now acting like she is the antichrist. He seems to blame her for everything, taking no responsibility for his actions in their drug habits. He was so paranoid at the thought that Nicole would "get her hands" on Zoey after she's served her time that he decided to practically kidnap her to his mothers. I know my sister is fucked up right now, but I cannot believe Jason was the innocent party in all this. And while I would love to see him absent from Zoey's life, I cannot ignore the fact that he is her father. No matter how much I despise him, I would never deny him a place in Zoey's life. As far as we can tell, Nicole has no idea the man she loves has turned on her.

I do not trust Jason and now, I'm beginning to not trust his mother either. He will eventually go to jail, so that thought does bring me some solace. Yet there is this feeling of dread about this whole situation I cannot shake.

I wish to all the gods ever imagined that Zoey was still with my mom. I wanted so desperately to believe that my instincts were wrong about Nicole's drug abuse. The night before I found out that she had been arrested again, I had told myself it was time to talk to her again. I let myself doubt myself and I wish I could say that I had been wrong. Like the belief that Nicole was using drugs, I have this feeling of dread about Zoey living with her grandma. I've always tried to listen to my instincts as they have tended to be right. Once again, I find myself praying that I'm wrong.